Category Archives: Personal Development

Coping With Living Alone

Starting a life on your own can be a stepping stone in your life. Nevertheless, this experience can sometimes fall really hard on people. Many people experience fear, insecurity, doubt and similar feelings when on their own for the first time. It is important to keep in mind that all of this is quite normal and that we all hurt sometimes. Getting thrown out of your comfort zone is certainly not a pleasant emotion, but we are here to help you cope with this transition. Sit back, relax and keep reading.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love Yourself

Even though it might sound cliché, it is actually a very important part of coping. This does not necessarily mean forcing yourself to see every part of you as perfect, because none of us are perfect, and all of us have strengths and weaknesses. You should, however, learn to enjoy your own company. When you reach a point where you feel comfortable spending the evening alone, you will reach a new level of maturity. This is not an easy transition, especially if you are used to living with someone – your family, a roommate, a friend. We look for entertainment in social circles, validation for our enjoyment from others, and living alone – you are doomed to spend days in just your own company.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just remember not to be like me last year, don’t spend a week without talking to a human being. Be like me this year, and organize pyjama and nailpolish parties for your adult friends – boys, girls and cupcakes! Organize even snazzier fancy parties just for yourself. Buy a toy crown and wear it around the house, you will literally feel the power of adulthood pour out of you, it’s great and you should totally do it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You are given the opportunity to entertain at your own time, to the sound of your own drum. And no matter how switching to solitude (most of the time) can scare you, it is important to keep an open mind and learn to appreciate yourself more. It won’t be long before you decide one-person dance parties are preferable to a night of unbearable clubbing!

Freedom

The next thing you need to learn is to value your freedom. It is really important to look at this as a positive change. At first, you might have a difficult time adjusting to an empty house and you might experience loneliness (word of advice, do not move into a large empty house by yourself. It is bad for your psyche, and it is bad for cleaning days. It is worst around Halloween). Shortly after, you will learn to value your freedom. This means that you will finally have the ability to do whatever pleases you without worrying if that will bother somebody else or if others will agree. This is a great opportunity to learn more about yourself. You will become the one and only owner of the remote control.

 

 

Independence

Perhaps one of the most valuable things that you will learn when you move into your new home is, of course, how it feels to be independent. Although this might come as a shock, overwhelming at times, you will learn to go with the flow and love it! Sure, paying bills, cooking for one, and doing your own laundry are just some of the things that you will need to learn in order to support yourself. Fortunately, nowadays, with internet and technology, even simple chores can be managed more easily. Taking care of yourself will never be a breeze, but millenials will prefer paying rents through apps. Cleaning up is a drag, but if you make like Freddy Mercury and make it a musical about your young-adult angst, you’ll do better. You know you’re an adult when your list of Youtube tutorials expands from contouring tutorials to plumbing hacks!

Adapting to new changes can be quite difficult for some people. Moving away to live on your own should serve as a great learning experience. You may have learned a lot about life up to this point, but a month of solitary habitation will truly make you a force to be reckoned with in the wild world outside. Learn to make the best of every situation and you will learn that moving away is probably one of the best things you’ve done for yourself. Just keep in mind that living on your own does not mean losing contact with all your loved ones – your friends and family will always be just a phone call away, and remember to make those calls!

THE CHALLENGES OF COPING WITH CHANGE AND TIPS ON HOW TO EFFECTIVELY DO SO

 

“Change is the only constant in life” is one of Heraclitus’ most accurate sayings; withstanding the test of time, it is now even more appropriate in today’s society than it has ever been before. With ever growing demands on our time, and a rapidly growing and developing technology industry that is constantly changing and shaping the workforce, it is easy to feel overwhelmed by all the changes that more often than not catch us unaware – in our personal and working environment.

Change is one of those inevitable forces in life – whether we choose to embrace or resist it – we have to expect it. Why is change such a challenge to deal with, and how you can manage it more effectively?

Why Is Change So Difficult To Cope With?

If you’ve ever felt utterly helpless to do anything about your change-related anxiety and stress, don’t worry, it’s perfectly natural. The first step to dealing with the problem, as with everything else, is understanding the issue, inside out – in this case, rather literally.

The problem with change is that we have a very natural resistance to it and the natural impulse that we have towards homoeostasis is not to be underestimated! It is a self-regulating system that is an essential life-sustaining force. From body temperature to heart rate and hormonal activity, the system makes sure that your body is not subjected to conditions that pose health risks, any longer than you are able to sustain them.

Homoeostasis is a system designed to keep stable conditions and quickly respond to any changes by resisting them and restoring the previous conditions. If this seems like biological mumbo-jumbo to you, you’d be surprised at how much this affects our everyday lives, including our behavioural, emotional and psychological patterns.

In more behavioural terms, homoeostasis manifests itself in our desire for routine and our wariness of change. On a more personal level, this may be seen in your unwillingness to leave an unhealthy relationship, and at work this may be reflected in your despair over a new set of procedures (which inevitably affects your work productivity and could stunt your career development).

It is also important to understand that you may experience homoeostatic fear regardless of the nature of the change; the system does not distinguish between good or bad changes, change is change, and so it is up to you to challenge the system and form your own perceptions of the changes.

Here are some ways that you can start to embrace change quicker and stop resisting the inevitable.

  1. Perception is everything:

According to Wayne Dyer, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” – he was definitely on to something there. No two people are likely to react in the exact same way when presented with the same situation, or in this case, change. Your attitude towards the changes you’re facing heavily impacts how well you deal with and adjust to them.

Challenge yourself to identify as many reasons as you can how the change will benefit you. This will help you achieve some clarity over the bigger picture, and to gain some control over the situation.
The more reasons you can find, the quicker the resistance will fade. ALSO, get clear on the cost of not changing, what happens if you don’t change and what does that mean for you?

Remind yourself of the benefits of change BUT also, the consequences of not changing!

2. Deal with the changes head on:

Instead of avoiding the change, take a proactive stance, take charge of the situation, and either search for a solution or an effective way of working around and/or within the change. Avoiding the problem doesn’t make it go way, it only makes it grow over time.

If the change feels too scary to confront, what will make this change easier?  Maybe you need more clarity on what the change means (common in a work environment) or maybe you need more support and you will feel better – you won’t know until you ask yourself, simple but not common practice.

3. Stay flexible:

As the saying goes, don’t put all your eggs into one basket – don’t make elaborate, long term plans that rely on everything staying exactly as it is. Don’t focus on what you don’t know or can’t do, but rather what you do know and what can you do with it and how can it help you with the change.

Be flexible along the change, change is not one stage. Have an open mind, ask questions and seek out any opportunities that will make the change process more effective. Chances are, things won’t always go according to plan, but this is not necessarily a bad thing, that is the reality.

4. Do not alienate yourself from the situation:

One of the most tempting things to do during a change is to emotionally and physically detach ourselves from the situation. Think about how the change makes you feel and how you want to feel about it, only then can you go about changing your attitude towards it. It is not the event which causes the emotions, but the meaning we give it.

If you are feeling bad about the change, ask yourself: what beliefs or thoughts are creating these feelings? And challenge those beliefs and thoughts for ones that will serve you better.

5. Accept the resistance:

Very simple, because it will always be there to some degree. You don’t have a choice in feeling the resistance or not, but you have a choice over how you manage it!

Get With The Times!

Whether we like it or not, in order to succeed in today’s society we need to comfortably go with the flow of change and effectively adapt and adjust to various new situations (scary as that may be).

Industries all over the world are looking for flexible, motivated employees who cope positively with change, and not only take it in their stride, but actually thrive on it – this is the recipe for success.

Apart from the obvious career benefits, it isn’t difficult to see how change management strategies can help a person overcome personal issues and allow them to pursue their dreams confidently and take up opportunities effectively – this could be you!

Grab homoeostasis by the horns and take control of your own mind, body and life!

 

5 Signs it’s Time to Drop the Toxic People

We all have had them. Some of us only have one or two left. Some of us have dumped all of them. Toxic, negative, happy energy sucking vampires.

Toxic people are everywhere and unfortunately we will never be completely free of them. The world is full of them. Whether or not we allow them to enter and stay in our lives is another thing. I get that it’s hard to stay away from Aunt Joan because we have to see her at all family holidays. And that co-worker who is always spewing negative garbage is slightly hard to ignore too. I mean, her cubicle is right next to yours.

There’s hope though. We are not, nor do we have to be, slaves to these sour people. The problem isn’t in dumping them, it’s recognizing when it IS time to get rid of them and how to do it without hurting their feelings. The latter I wouldn’t worry too much about it. They are always angry, sad or mad about something, you kicking them to the curb is just another thing for them to bitch about. They’re used to it. Fear not.

Here are 5 signs it’s time and how to diplomatically do it.

  1. You don’t eat lunch in the staff room anymore because the toxicity is too high

    Nobody wants to have be subjected to this, especially on break. You can do one of two things: a) you can politely ask the people to kindly keep the talk upbeat and positive. Let them know that this is your room too and you would prefer happy positive talk only. This may not be received well but then, it just may. OR b) avoid the lunch room at all cost. Just stay away, period.

  2. You avoid their calls

    Yes, you see their number on call display and let it go to answering machine, again. You have been doing this for over 2 months now. You can’t bear to listen to them go on and on about how horrible EVERYthing is. You can’t ignore them forever. They deserve to know what’s going on. Be honest and tell them. Seriously. Just be upfront and tell them that their negativity is sucking the life out of you and you really don’t like it. This may be exactly what they need to hear in order to change.

  3. Your whole mood changes when you around them

    WARNING WARNING WARNING. We all know when we see signs like this that something bad is ahead and we must be guarded and cautious. This holds true for toxic people too. Your guard immediately goes up and you get an anxious and nervous feeling in your body. Ignore them, walk away, remove yourself from the situation or group as quickly as you can. Their energy is contagious and sickening.

  4. Your positivity falls on deaf ears

    When you have a friend or acquaintance who is always negative and a Debbie downer and you have desperately tried to turn their outlook and attitude around, to no avail, it’s time to dump her. If she isn’t listening to you it’s because she isn’t ready to listen to you and she never will. Not until she’s ready, no matter how hard you try to shine some positive light into her soul. It won’t work. Get rid of her. When she changes, she’ll come find you.

  5. Your stress level reaches a ridiculous all time high when you see them.

    I think we all get like that. We start to get antsy and fidgety. We break out into a sweat and get a nervous energy and sick feeling in our tummy. That person does this to you and then some. Time to say goodbye.

    No one should ever make us feel sick or sad or stress us out or anything like that. We should be strong enough to be able to handle it and deal with them. Unfortunately, there are times when we just aren’t. We’re not all superhuman. It’s ok to get rid of toxic people in your life, even if it’s family. Take them in small doses. Get in, say hi, get out. Don’t even ask how they are because that just may be your biggest mistake. It’s a fantastic opportunity for them to start dumping toxic crap on you and you’re not interested anyway. At all.

Discover 7 Easy Ways to Help You Achieve Your Goals

Everyone knows that goals are supposed to be the way to help you get what you want in life, set a goal and achieve more. Why do so many people fail to achieve their goals though? It seems so simple; think about what you want, have an intention to achieve it and hopefully your life will change. There are many reasons why you might not be achieving your goals.

Unfortunately, thinking alone will not get you anywhere, neither will simply having a good intention without being prepared for challenges, or not having clarity where to start, or sometimes not even knowing what you want. The real difference lies  in how effectively you set your goals and how much support you give yourself to achieve them after you set them. What I want to do is show you some things you can do to help you boost your success in achieving your goals.

Get clear on your goals – Decide what you want and get clear on your goal as well as:

-your deadline
-how you will measure your goal
-what you need to do to achieve it
-what resources you have and what you will need
-your obstacles and how you will overcome them
-what action steps you need to take

1. Plan effectively

You need to look at your end goal and determine what steps you need to take to achieve your goal. Then you need to include these steps and schedule them into your diary/calendar. Remember to only plan 75% of your time, take routine tasks into consideration, batch where possible and also plan according to your energy levels.

2. Do something

Take action. Planning but then giving into procrastination is not going to get you any results. Most of the time we have a good intention to achieve our goals, and then we hit resistance when taking further action. Preparing for your obstacles and also working through them when they arise are key to achieving your goals. You will come up again resistance often, everybody does, this is called homeostasis, a natural resistance to change. The key is to take action and have plans to keep you moving forward.

3. Keep your goal top of mind

Motivation is pivotal to achieving your goal. Motivation gives you that boost you need to keep going when you feel like giving up. Everyday looking at your goal, reaffirm it to yourself, visual it before you go to bed. Make it part of your daily routine, feel it.

4. Keep focused

Always stay focused on your thoughts and what you are feeling. Are you focusing on what you want to happen or what you are scared will happen? Focus on what you want and not on what you don’t want. Review your goals and progress regularly as well.

5. Commit and Persevere

To achieve any goal, you must be committed and persevere, even when you feel like giving up. Some days will be easier than others but to achieve any goal, you must persevere until you obtain it. Too many people have given up just before they finally achieved success.

6. Act as if

Always believe and have faith that you will achieve your goal and take confident action. To believe in only those things which you can see is not belief at all. If you don’t believe it will happen, it won’t happen. Whatever you believe, you are right. Act as if and expect the best to happen.

7. Journey, not destination

Lastly, stay present, enjoy it, it is about the journey and not the destination. Don’t feel like everything will be fine only once you reach your goal. Find the things that you can be grateful and happy for now and remember that reaching your goal will just make things much better, but don’t have the mindset of ‘when…I will…’

If you have a burning desire to achieve more than you currently are but you feel lost and stuck, remember, it is better to work through those emotions now than to give up on your dreams forever.

5 Simple Daily Changes for Reaching Your 2015 Goals

As the New Year is coming soon, it’s time to take a look back at this year and see how well you have achieved your goals.

If you feel that you haven’t yet reached your full potential and haven’t managed to cross all the goals off your list, it’s time to implement a new set of strategies for 2015.

These are not going to be your New Year’s resolutions, rather they are new fresh ways of working towards your most important goals, ensuring that you actually reach them.

Rest assured, this just scratches the surface. There are other powerful ways that help you to make the New Year best ever.

In case you are interested in those methods, just go ahead and download this PDF that I prepared just for the audience of GoalZila!

It lists three additional (and very powerful) ways of reaching your goals in 2015.

1. Hustling on multiple things -> Focusing on just one thing
We all know that multitasking doesn’t work. So rather than working on multiple fronts at once, picking just one project to focus on is the smartest move you can do.

The fact is that if you decide to run your first marathon, write a book, and lose your weight at the same time, you might fall short.

So rather than doing spreading yourself too thin, pick that ONE goal that makes the biggest difference in your life.

Make sure you understand that you have less time available than what you think. For instance, my original goal was to finish my first full-distance triathlon in 2015. But since I also want to start my own business next year, I knew that there is just too much on my plate.

That’s why gave up temporarily on my triathlon goal, and I decided to fully focus on the business one.

2. Fun stuff first -> Important stuff first
If you are really into reaching your big goal, then it should be your #1 priority and nothing else.

For instance, my goal is to publish five Kindle books next year, so the most important activity is to write 1000 to 2000 words almost daily.

What’s even more important is to put this most important activity to those hours of the day when you are at your most effective. To understand this, you should learn what Sam Carpenter, the author of Work The System has to say about Biological Prime Time (BPT).

BPT means your most productive hours of the day, and you can find this with a bit of self-monitoring. It takes some effort for sure, but the payoff can be great.

When you do the goal-related work inside your BPT, you make significant progress on the important things.

This in turn helps you to feel a sense of accomplishment and increase your motivation, which again gives you more fuel to reach your goal.

3. Do it and forget it -> Reveal your tracks
One way that helps you in reaching your goal is to see how far you have come already. So rather than just doing something and then forgetting it make sure to track your progress. This way you know where you are headed and it’s much easier to make adjustments, if something isn’t working.

Doing this kind of tracking is simple. Every day after you have finished working, look at your day. See your successes and failures, then record them down. Also, list the lessons you learned.

This way you:

-Know what works and what didn’t work
-How to make your next day better
-Have the record of success (you may need some motivational boost when things don’t go as planned)

Doing a review like this doesn’t have to take long, sometimes even five minutes will be enough.

With this small habit, you can still keep the dream of reaching your goal alive.

4. Hustle all around -> Reduce your commitments
So you have three hobbies and you also participate in various club activities. Good for you!

But let me ask you this: Do they give you the room to pursue your goal, with the intensity that is required? If not, perhaps cutting down some commitments is in order.

For instance, when I was writing my book in 2013, I made a strategic decision to cut down all the races (I’m an endurance athlete) for that year. I also scaled down my other activities, even eliminated them completely if they didn’t support my main goal anyway.

In 2015, I have decided to do the same again. For instance, I’m slowing down my blogging pace, so that I have the time for Kindle writing.

The biggest problem that people face with commitments is that saying “no” is very difficult. I can’t say it was easy for me either, but I try to keep these guidelines in mind when declining a request:

-Does the commitment support my goals? If it doesn’t, then the answer is “no”
-Say “no” discreetly but firmly. At least for me, nothing is more irritating than someone saying “no” to me the rude way
-Say your answer clearly enough, so that the other person doesn’t have to guess you’re what you said
-Be honest about why you decline from the request
-Understand that you can be selfish too. If someone has a right to ask you to do something, in most of the cases you have the equal right to say “no” as well

Sometimes saying “yes” is the only option. For instance, if some one asks your help in an accident, you should definitely help the other person. But in the majority of everyday situations, things ain’t that severe, and there is more room for evaluation.

5. Do it in one big chunk -> break it in smaller pieces
One way to make reaching a goal easier is to do two things:

First, break it down into smaller pieces, so that you are able to avoid being overwhelmed.

For instance, if your goal is to write a book, make your first milestone be to write an outline. When this task is done, find out minimum word count to strive for every day and try to reach that.

When you break the giant project into smaller pieces, it’s so much easier to get started doing the work. When the project is just one huge “lump” on your list, you are more likely to procrastinate on it.

One other trick that can help you started with your goals. And believe me when I say this, you are going to need this one. No matter if you feel motivated now, there are times when you won’t even like to look at your goal.

If you hit the wall, promise to do the task for five minutes. This helps you to get started and in majority of cases, you do much more work than just those five minutes.

There are times when you are to be tested, to see how serious you are about your goal. But if you pass the test, you’ll be a winner.

Conclusion
To give you a more solid start to 2015, I presented five different strategies for reaching your goal and creating the life you have always wanted.

The most important thing is to put all your focus and energy into the one goal and make it happen.

Or rather, would you like having five goals you haven’t accomplished, when you review your year in December 2015?

Yeah, I thought so.

Get Motivated – 5 simple ways that really work!

People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily. – Zig Ziglar

If staying motivated were so easy, a lot more people would reach their goals and achieve more in life. Without motivation, taking action is almost impossible, it feelings like you are dragging yourself up a hill with a 100 tons behind you, just not fun at all.

Finding the motivation you need to achieve your objectives is an on-going effort and something you need to do regularly. Here are 5 simple ways to get and stay motivated from the outset.

1. Belief comes before motivation

There is a fine line between setting a huge goal and an unrealistic goal. There are many people who favour the idea of setting large almost unreachable goals, stating the bigger the better. However, although it might be very inspiring, if you can’t see yourself reaching it, you will struggle to find the motivation to take action. Inspiration and motivation are different.

Visualize yourself achieving your goal, how hard is this for you to do? What feelings come up for you? First you need to believe in yourself and then you will feel more motivated to take action.

2. Must be worth the effort

While this may sound obvious, the reward you get needs to clearly outweigh the effort you are going to put in, by far! If you want to lose weight and you have to change quite a bit in your routine, from your diet to exercise regime; that is a lot of effort you need to put in.

You will only feel motivated to put in all the effort you need to when you can clearly see the rewards you will get back after some time. Seeing yourself slimmer and feeling better is not enough to give you the impetus to make such a big change. You might need to put your thinking cap on and come up with 50 reasons why the reward is greater than the effort.

The reward has to mean so much to you that you are willing to put in everything you have got to get it. Find the massive reward and you will find the motivation. Doing something because ‘you should, have to, or need to’ is not motivating at all.

3. Get organized and put a plan together

Being more organized actually helps you to stay motivated. When you are not organized, you lack a lot of clarity, you feel more stressed, overwhelmed and all over the place. Motivation doesn’t work well in these conditions.

If you want to boost your motivation and chances of success, map out a plan of where you are now and how you will get to where you want to be. When you can connect the dots and clearly see how you can get to where you want, you have a boost of motivation to get there.

Your goals need to be more organized so you have more energy to be motivated and clarity on what action you must take to achieve what you want.

4. Align your feelings and thoughts

To be motivated, your feelings and thoughts need to be aligned. You might set out to achieve something and you have decided on a few action steps you need to take. When it comes to taking action however, you feel stuck, something is holding you back.

Your feelings are not aligned with the action and so, you get stuck. The opposite is true as well, you might feel fine about the action, but if you have an underlying feeling that it isn’t the best choice for you, you probably won’t feel so motivated.

Ensure that you are not imposing any feelings or taking actions that you actually don’t resonate with. When you have a vision, and you are clear on the right action you need to take, backed by the right feelings to get you there, motivation will follow right behind. If you miss out on one of these, you will probably get stuck.

5. Create a motivating environment

Most of us are predominately visual and respond much more to visual stimuli than what we hear or feel, for example. Having post it notes, inspiring images, quotes, and motivating reminders will go a long way to staying motivated. It is easy to get distracted and caught up in the routines of each day and lose motivation unintentionally. Reminding yourself constantly of what you are working towards will help keep you focused and your energy high and visual reminders are the best way to do this.

The only difference between being super motivated and not motivated is you. Motivation is a choice you make; you decide how motivated you actually want to be in life. Whether you are easily motivated or not, there are many ways to get and stay motivated if you really want to.

Can’t Keep Up? How To Take Control Of Your Time Thieves

How often do you feel overwhelmed and snowed under with an endless list of things to do? I bet more often than you would like to admit. With the ever-increasing fast paced world we live in, we are expected to continuously take on more, deliver better results and do this, within the same amount of time, or less!

No wonder stress has now become a word in our every day vocabulary and this 24/7 lifestyle is directly undermining our health. How can we keep up with all the demands? Well first, we might need to take a different approach and look at how we might be contributing towards the situation from the outset.

Surveys continuously find shocking results regarding how productive we really are. In a survey done recently, it revealed that most people only use 60% or less of available work time, in other words, even though they were physically at work five days a week, they were only productively using three days.

How easy would it be to immediately list all the areas where you are not being productive? For most people, they have no idea and this is normal, we are all blind to the limiting habits we might have and the things we do which waste time.

If you can’t keep up, the best thing you can do is pause and take a moment to identify your time thieves. You need to take responsibility and control of the situation.

Here is a simple, but highly effective way to take control of your time thieves in 4 easy steps.

Step 1 – The activity

Grab a piece a paper and pen and draw 4 columns. You will use the first column to write down the activity that you feel steals a lot of time. What isn’t working for you at the moment in other words? You might feel that checking and replying to emails chew up a large chunk of your time, distractions or interruptions.

Write down everything that comes up in the first column. Once you have listed all the different areas, you are ready to move into step 2.

Step 2 – The Cause

I am not talking about looking for something to blame for your circumstances. Your finger can always be pointed back at yourself. If you blame others for interruptions, you might need to acknowledge that you play a part in allowing those to happen. If you feel you have too much work, where can you talk responsibility to delegate or be more assertive and talk to management about your workload?

Most of the time, we don’t want to see how we could be any part of the cause. However, the more ways in which we can take responsibility for the cause, the easier it is to fix it as it is more in our control.

Use the second column to write the causes next to all the activities that steal time. What is contributing to this situation? Let’s use the example of emails, you might note here that friends sending personal emails takes a lot of time and is very distracting. Perhaps you developed a habit of checking and re-checking your email every five minutes. Write down everything you can think of.

Step 3 – The Solution

In the third column you will write down the solution, what are you going to do differently? How can you overcome this? Using the same example as email, perhaps you can schedule time to check your email at certain intervals instead of every five minutes.

If you are worried about not responding to an email immediately, you can put an auto responder to quieten your mind. ‘Please note I only check my email at the following times, xxx, if you require immediate attention please call me.’ Perhaps you need to create folders and follow the zero inbox rule. There is always a solution; you just need to be open to finding one.

Step 4 – Evaluation

The last column can be used to take down any notes, comments and monitor your progress. Remember that this document isn’t meant to be cast in stone. It is a document that you use to support you in identifying time thieves, to gain awareness around the causes and then use it as guidance to improve them.

Sometimes it isn’t extra time that we need, but actually some skills to help us to manage our time better. We were not taught how to manage stress, workload and responsibilities in school, but it has become an essential skill to have in life, whether we like it or not. Failure to adopt and master these skills will cause you to feel like you just can’t cope.

Get creative and think about what you can do to make life just a bit easier for yourself.

Unless you decide to take control of your time thieves, they will take control of you, don’t doubt it! You always have a choice in life, what do you chose?

3 Ways To Be A More Positive Person

Are you tired of negative thinking? Do you want to be a more positive person? If so, you’ve come to the right place. Below are three ways you can begin to make the transition from negative thinker into positive thinker. It won’t happen overnight, but if you practice these tips, in time you will find that you will become a more positive person, which will lead to a happier and more productive life.

Step #1: Start Your Day Off Right

When you wake up in the morning, the first thing you need to do is get yourself into a positive mindset. Don’t think about all of the tasks you have to do at work today or all of the errands you have to run. Don’t even think about how cold out it is outside either. Think instead about the great things in your life. What do you have that you cherish? Wonderful children? A loving spouse? Maybe you had a great night sleep? Whatever it may be, find positive things to focus on when you start your day.

The reason for this is because the mindset you start out with is the one you will carry with you for most of the day. It is much easier to start off with a positive mindset and keep it than it is start out the day with a negative mindset and change it.

Step #2: Give to Charity

You don’t need money in order to give. You can easily donate your time as well. There are all sorts of non-profits that need people to help them out throughout the year. By doing good for others, you will feel better about yourself. This good feeling that you have puts you into a better mood and helps you to think clearly and more positively.

Whenever I volunteer, I come back with a new, more positive outlook on life. I am happier than I was before and am excited about the future. I urge you to give to charity.

Step #3: Find The Good In Life

No matter how difficult the situation may be, do your best to find the silver lining in everything as they say. At first, this will be difficult for some of you. But be patient and give it time. After all, no one starts out mastering a task. We all have to go through the growing pains of life.

If your workload keeps piling up, be thankful you have a job. If your kids are making a lot of noise, be thankful you have a loving family. Learn to find the positives in life. It shouldn’t be that hard, they are all around us. We just have to learn to look at them instead of the more obvious negative things we see.

Final Thoughts

Becoming a more positive person takes time. But the time spent in transitioning to a more positive person is worth it. When you are a positive person, life just feels that much easier. You no longer worry about little things in life. Your constant focus on the good in life makes you much happier because you aren’t constantly in a negative state of mind. Wouldn’t that be great? To no longer worry and antagonise over the mundane but rather be happier and see the good things in life?

5 Ways To Spin a Positive Yarn From The Negative Threads of Life

I had a crazy night some time back. It involved rushing to the clinic at night. Inside, I was going back and forth with the receptionist, telling her that we absolutely had to the cut the queue as we had an emergency. She gave me irritated, curt replies all the time. Everybody else in the clinic were staring at us.

But it all turned out good in the end. My girlfriend’s allergic reaction to eating a single, cashew nut subsided.

It was nonetheless still one of the most messed up nights ever. I actually thought my girlfriend was going to die. It all happened so quickly. She had trouble breathing and she broke out in hives all over her body.

Thinking for the worse

I honestly couldn’t help it. Just watching my girlfriend suffer like that made me miserable. I had a wide array of negative thoughts in my head:

“Why this is have to happen?”

“Why are we so unlucky?”

“Is she going to die? Please don’t let her die”

You get the idea.

And yet, after the ordeal, we were determined not to let this “little” incident faze us. There’s no point in a living a paranoid life, no matter what happens. We tend to look up all the time.

Here are 5 ways to spin the positive yarn from the negative threads of life

1) Look in the good of people

When something bad happens to you, there’ll always be someone out there who would be willing to care for you.

A guy in the clinic, who was suffering from severe stomach pains actually offered to get up from the bed he was lying on (we were in the other consultation room then) for my girlfriend. It was really nice of him and we all started chatting.

As much as it can be tough or that as if everything is against you, it’s not. There’re decent folks out there who are always willing to help. Don’t forget that. Don’t let the negative people take that idea away from you. Otherwise, you’d just become like them.

2) Be thankful

My girlfriend felt bad that she was a bother and that I had to foot the bill. Night clinic opened 24-hours aren’t cheap man.

But I told her this, “Don’t ever worry about such material things. At least you didn’t suffer more or things didn’t turn for the worse”.

As cliche as it sounds, you got to be grateful. You got to give thanks that things didn’t turn out worse, and it is very possible that it can happen. Be thankful for what you have too. As hectic as it was for us to be in the clinic, I can just imagine how bad things could have been otherwise.

3) Going back to your loving roots

I personally find that there’s so much noise in the world that we forget about what’s important in life, mainly the fact that you’re loved by your friends and family.
Think about it, we’re so caught up in the rat race that “busy” has become a norm. And while growing up, skewed ideas of independence or being an introvert has made us forget our roots.

I guess that’s why most people tend to only remember how important family and friends are only after something bad happens.

So don’t forget it. Let whatever that has happened allow you to see what’s truly important in life. Then don’t ever let it go.

My mom actually came to pick us up from the clinic afterwards. She was even ready to foot the bill. After I thanked her at the end of the night, she replied that she’d always be there for me.

4) Be smart, be safe

I’m reluctant to say, “Everything happens for a reason”. That’s too trite.

As mentioned, leading a paranoid life is not a life at all. That’s not how you learn things. I think what we can do instead is to simply learn and take the little precautions for the future.

There’re always a ton of lessons in everything. You can absorb as much as you want, but be smart about it. Balance it out with your new mindset. Then keep looking forward.

5) Inspire others

It’s time to let others in into your journey. That’s where you spread the lessons out and help others with what you learnt.
That’s why I’m writing this blog post. I also wrote a massive email to my list telling them about the ordeal. I got a bunch of replies from readers who said they can relate to what I went through.

See, not only can you learn even more from others, but you can also help them. Inspire people with your story, because people love stories. You may have suffered, but your suffering alone would definitely help more than a handful of people, even if you don’t see it.

That’s my story guys.

It was crazy, but I’m super thankful it all turned out well. I’m also pretty glad that I’m given the chance to write this out and help those who’re reading this.

If I were to surmise everything I said, it would go something like this: Don’t be too upset if bad things happen to you, for it will be over soon. Be thankful for the lessons you will learn as they will create great strides for your future. Be smart, be safe and most of all, just be happy.

Shift Your Focus: 6 Ways to Better Use Your Time

Life is all about making choices. We make thousands of them on a daily basis and unfortunately, too often we take shortcuts – choices which are easy and effortless to make now.

These choices may give us instant gratification, but at the same time they are making us spend more time on the less-essential stuff in our lives.

But what if you stopped for a moment and decided to take the longer route instead? I’m willing to say that doing this would definitely improve the quality of your life – in some cases it could even change your life.

If you are interested, I suggest that you consider these six everyday scenarios and start looking at them otherwise from now on.

1. Watching news (and TV) -> Build your online business

Have you any idea how much time per week you spend on watching news? For instance, if you just spent 15 minutes of your time on a daily basis watching TV, that would add up 105 minutes per week.
I don’t know about you, but for me that’s a lot of time to be spent on something that is mostly negative. So rather than actively seeking the news, let the news reach you.

For instance, whenever something big and noteworthy happens in the world, you’ll learn about it – sooner or later. But there is no need for you to actively search for it yourself.

A better use of your time:

Rather than watching the news (or excessive amounts of TV), why don’t you spend that time figuring out what your true passions are and then create a business around those themes?

If you want to get started on this path, you can take, for instance, a DISC test (you have to opt in to an e-mail list in order to take the test) to figure out your strengths.

When you know your true strengths, it’s so much easier to focus on the right stuff in your life rather than something that doesn’t add any significant value to it at all.

2. Transition times -> Mobile learning

How many times have you felt that there is just too much material (both online and offline) you’d like to go through and too little time to do it? Well, this feeling is very familiar to me. I got frustrated over all the great podcasts I wasn’t able to listen to or the books that were just sitting on my bookshelf.

To make things even worse, I never understood the value of mobile time pockets and how those would positively affect my education level on various topics.

The better use of your time:

Buy yourself a MP3 player. This gives you access to podcasts or audiobooks, which you can then listen to while you are on the move.

Another favorite way to “spend” my time is when I’m waiting for something. For instance, I might take a physical book with me so that I can keep myself beneficially occupied. Or, I could just grab my Amazon Kindle and read any of the books I have purchased online.

In these ways, you can maximize your time when you are on the move or while waiting for something.

3. Floating through your day -> Planning your day

Some years ago I was a very disorganized person: I didn’t plan my days, nor did I set any goals for myself. I was just floating around and I wasn’t spending my time very productively.

Eventually I just couldn’t take this feeling of not accomplishing anything and I wanted to change.
The better use of your time:

One of the very first things that helped me to change my life was starting to plan my days. Rather than drifting through them, I started to keep a list of things I wanted to accomplish every day.
I also started to figure out my goals and this helped me to decide more carefully what my daily actions were going to be.

Make sure to do this yourself as well and start planning your days – preferably the night before. This way you get a simple plan that you can follow and you’ll already feel much more organized and productive.
You can jot down your tasks on a piece of paper or even register an account on an online tool and manage your tasks through your browser or through mobile devices.

4. Repeating the same mistakes -> Systematize

You accomplished a task, but you realized that you took some extra steps that weren’t necessary at all. Still, you are happy that you got the task done.

Sometime later, you do the same task again – only to realize that you still took those additional steps, and made some other mistakes too. This made you to lose time on details and you got less done than what you planned.

As long as you keep working this way, you keep losing time and frustrating yourself for nothing. But is there a way to prevent these bad experiences?

The better use of your time:

Understand all the steps it takes to do a task and then put them into a document. This way you have a step-by-step plan (or a checklist) to follow, which helps you to execute the task again without getting off-track.
Even if it takes some time to document your steps, you are still saving time since you are not repeating the same mistakes anymore.

And who knows, maybe you’ll have an assistant someday who can take care of those steps for you. When that occurs, you’ll have the document ready to hand to your helper.

5. Working tired -> Power naps

I can’t remember how many times I have worked while being very tired. Still, I just refused to stop working, because I thought that I’d lose even more time that way.

At the same time, I had difficulty focusing on my work and I made a lot of mistakes, which eventually caused me to have to fix the things I had already done.

The better use of your time:

If you find yourself in a situation like this, do yourself a favor: stop working and take a 20-minute nap. When you wake up, you’ll feel much more refreshed and productive.

There have been numerous studies made about the benefits of (power) napping and they all prove the same: It’s beneficial for you and your effectiveness clearly improves.

6. Fixing the symptoms -> Fixing the root cause

Too often we choose the easiest path when fixing things.

Let’s say that your computer keeps crashing on a frequent basis. Despite this, you never bother to do anything to fix the problem other than just reboot your computer.

This is a classic example of reacting to the symptoms only. Sure, your way of fixing the issue works, but perhaps there is even a better way to handle the situation.

The better use of your time:

The next time your computer crashes, avoid just restarting it. Find the root cause for these symptoms and put all the effort into fixing it instead. When you do that, the symptoms disappear and you stop wasting time on ineffective fixes.

You can deal with any other matter the same way: If you have to fix something more than twice, you have probably have a true problem in your hands and the best way is to tackle the root of the problem instead.

Conclusion

With these six methods, you can improve your everyday productivity and effectiveness.

It may take some time until you automatically choose the new habits, but believe me: You’ll feel so good when doing so and you can take your life completely to another level.