We all have had them. Some of us only have one or two left. Some of us have dumped all of them. Toxic, negative, happy energy sucking vampires.
Toxic people are everywhere and unfortunately we will never be completely free of them. The world is full of them. Whether or not we allow them to enter and stay in our lives is another thing. I get that it’s hard to stay away from Aunt Joan because we have to see her at all family holidays. And that co-worker who is always spewing negative garbage is slightly hard to ignore too. I mean, her cubicle is right next to yours.
There’s hope though. We are not, nor do we have to be, slaves to these sour people. The problem isn’t in dumping them, it’s recognizing when it IS time to get rid of them and how to do it without hurting their feelings. The latter I wouldn’t worry too much about it. They are always angry, sad or mad about something, you kicking them to the curb is just another thing for them to bitch about. They’re used to it. Fear not.
Here are 5 signs it’s time and how to diplomatically do it.
You don’t eat lunch in the staff room anymore because the toxicity is too high
Nobody wants to have be subjected to this, especially on break. You can do one of two things: a) you can politely ask the people to kindly keep the talk upbeat and positive. Let them know that this is your room too and you would prefer happy positive talk only. This may not be received well but then, it just may. OR b) avoid the lunch room at all cost. Just stay away, period.
You avoid their calls
Yes, you see their number on call display and let it go to answering machine, again. You have been doing this for over 2 months now. You can’t bear to listen to them go on and on about how horrible EVERYthing is. You can’t ignore them forever. They deserve to know what’s going on. Be honest and tell them. Seriously. Just be upfront and tell them that their negativity is sucking the life out of you and you really don’t like it. This may be exactly what they need to hear in order to change.
Your whole mood changes when you around them
WARNING WARNING WARNING. We all know when we see signs like this that something bad is ahead and we must be guarded and cautious. This holds true for toxic people too. Your guard immediately goes up and you get an anxious and nervous feeling in your body. Ignore them, walk away, remove yourself from the situation or group as quickly as you can. Their energy is contagious and sickening.
Your positivity falls on deaf ears
When you have a friend or acquaintance who is always negative and a Debbie downer and you have desperately tried to turn their outlook and attitude around, to no avail, it’s time to dump her. If she isn’t listening to you it’s because she isn’t ready to listen to you and she never will. Not until she’s ready, no matter how hard you try to shine some positive light into her soul. It won’t work. Get rid of her. When she changes, she’ll come find you.
Your stress level reaches a ridiculous all time high when you see them.
I think we all get like that. We start to get antsy and fidgety. We break out into a sweat and get a nervous energy and sick feeling in our tummy. That person does this to you and then some. Time to say goodbye.
No one should ever make us feel sick or sad or stress us out or anything like that. We should be strong enough to be able to handle it and deal with them. Unfortunately, there are times when we just aren’t. We’re not all superhuman. It’s ok to get rid of toxic people in your life, even if it’s family. Take them in small doses. Get in, say hi, get out. Don’t even ask how they are because that just may be your biggest mistake. It’s a fantastic opportunity for them to start dumping toxic crap on you and you’re not interested anyway. At all.